Sean, as cheesy as this sounds, what your subconscious might really be craving is to fix yourself. Or in simple terms, fixing shortcomings in your character. Meaning the internal things, like self confidence, responsibility, integrity, leadership of others. Ultimately, to be proud of who you are.

I have no idea if you might be struggling with these things. But try exploring the internal rather than the external. I feel like you'll find more answers there.